I was thinking...

Why, Alicia Keys, would you merely point out that the girl is on fire? Why aren’t you stopping that from happening? Is it enough to yell at the girl, “This girl is on fi-yaaaaaaaaaa,” while she’s right there next to you, engulfed in flames? You have a personality issue, Ms. Keys. You are a sociopath, allowing the poor girl to burn just so you can sing about it at her. Put her out, already! Douse those flames. Put her body out before it turns to charcoal. And Eddie Vedder: you’re not fooling anyone. You’re making promises you can’t possibly keep. What will fans think, decades from now, long after you’ve expired, when in every chorus you profess that you’re “still alive?” Isn’t it a bit insensitive to put those expectations on your fanbase? To give them false hope? You didn’t hear Elvis Presley sing such nonsense throughout his career, given he even knew when he would fake his death. Even John Lennon, who was considered by many to be wise and almost prophetic never made such ...

So, you see a headline, whether it's online, in a magazine, in a newspaper, etc., and you gloss over the key words to make sure you want to read it. You have to make sure, 'cause otherwise you're wasting your life. You spend 20-minutes reading about who-knows-what, which time you could have spent waiting for nothing to happen and still glean the same exact amount of information. It's less humiliating to go into debt than it is to waste half an hour reading about something that has no relevance to anyone. As it is, I don't blame you for not reading this. If you have read this far, I applaud you for your dedication to the headline. It's really a lure to get you this far, reeling in the fish I've just hooked in your eyes. If you haven't read this far, let this be a silent whisper hidden in the recesses of code you've left un-interrupted: I completely understand the distrust that has stayed your finger. (Unless that was creepy. I mean, let's be...