15 Things the United States Should Have Gotten Over, By Now

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1. Teenage rebellion


What are you, the teenager, rebelling against anymore? Each other? Your parents? What do you have left besides those two things that we, as a social whole, aren’t already rebelling against? Do you have too much privilege to be concerned about real issues, like surviving one more day?


2. Justin Beiber



He’s an idiot poisoned by wealth and fame. He's also not the first, and won't be the last. Get over it. Move on.


3. Nude celebrities


If you’re still totally hung up on seeing celebrities naked to fulfill your fantasies, try meeting more people. And if you’re married, you’re pathetic--discuss your sexual frustrations with your spouse or get divorced and try to be sexually active afterward. See how that works out for you.


4. Celebrity gossip


You need to examine the quality of your life if you're compelled to vicariously live through the missteps and suffering of others, especially people you will likely never meet.


5. Celebrity Endorsement


These individuals to whom you might look for guidance play pretend for a living. Literally. Their lives aren't exactly steeped in reality.


6. Sassy dance tunes


Why would there be a nationwide campaign to enable musical artists in their terrible habits and lifestyles? The only reason I can figure is the greater part of listeners really do want these artists to leave this life ruined as soon as possible.


7. Intolerance of religion


Don’t disagree with religion and vehemently state it’s not true and that it’s bad to have a moral compass. If you believe religion inhibits freedom of choice and stifles the human experience, why are you being a hypocrite by mocking the lives of the religious and aiming to supress the religious into your definition of ‘freedom’? Isn’t that what you’re fighting against?


8. Intolerance within religion


You give religion a bad name when you pretend to be the person you worship. You are a follower, not a leader and the true leaders within every wholesome religion do not preach intolerance. Get over yourselves.


9. Bipartisan politics


Why is this even an issue, still? I’ll tell you why in one word: money.


10. Money


Money isn’t alive, it isn’t nutritious and won’t quench thirst. You will die. Everyone around you will die. Either you or they will die far quicker than nature intended if you sacrifice anything for money. Not to mention the crisis it brings to nature, Herself.


11. Social media


You don’t care. Talk to people. Stop complaining.


12. Glorification of introverts


The introverted are prone to victimization--they are the reason we have ridiculous laws, as well as news about ridiculous lawsuits--and therefore should be uplifted, not venerated.


13. Causing controversy for attention


If your opinion differs from another, don’t be the first to fire shots when they don’t even have a gun.


14. Gun worship


Guns only have the purpose to kill or destroy. They aren’t that impressive. You could also worship disease, in general, like guns since they’re essentially the same thing, one just takes longer to kill or destroy, and doesn’t require as much time to be invested in its conception and diversification.


15. Anger


Why are you mad? Stop finding reasons to be or stay mad. Get over it.

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