It's a Culture Thing (Or the Lack Thereof)

First, allow me to just come out and admit that, no, I am not as “American” as I should be. I’m a backstabbing, baby-killing, freedom-hating, liberal socialist. Did I leave anything out? Oh, and I’m not a real man.

Now that that’s out of the way...

Toby Keith put it best when he exclaimed, “We’ll put a boot in your a**, ‘cause it’s the American way!” setting an excellent example for our up and coming children of freedom. Truly, what other options are there to attacks or threats than a kick in the tuchas with a boot so hard that the boot gets lodged in our enemies’ orifices? It’s bad enough that our current president threatens then refuses to risk detonating civilians in another country (after giving orders that have led to multiple civilian casualties,) why not just go over there with the simplest, most complete solution of violently shoving footwear into their collective anal sphincter?

And, by “over there”, I mean anywhere that’s not America. Excuse me, anywhere that’s not the United States of America. I keep getting that mixed up! In my defense, how dare any other country in the Americas claim to be part of the real America. We superior Euro-Americans that speak English (which I like to call Freedom) were here first. Who else has the American flag? Not those dolts down in Venezuela, I’ll tell you that much.

Beyond these points, there is the issue of being at liberty to do whatever you want. This is America. Do what ever you want. Do you want to be ignorant? Go for it. Everyone is ignorant in one regard or another; you can’t avoid it, so why fight it? Do you want to hate anything for any reason? Do it (as long as it’s not the military, capitalism or guns.) Do you want to exercise your freedom to be apathetic or go against our established society? Awesome, but be warned: everyone has the freedom to decide what defines established society.

All of the above leads to my issues with Country music: the entire genre is one ignorant contradiction after another, bordering on hypocrisy. It’s also essentially one really long song with long breaks and different contributing artist. Its ideals of freedom are only according to its artists’ definition of freedom, which they’ve decided upon to pander to their target audience. They will dictate whom you can support and whom you should abhor. They will spell out for you what is right and what is wrong, no in-betweens and no gray areas. They will tell you what it means to have freedom, because they must know, being the most American of all the people who are living in the Americas. If you’re pointing out any inconsistency in their collective message, you are a traitor that hates freedom, and the military. If you think guns kill people, it’s because you want to take guns away from everyone that doesn’t kill people. When you quip that you think women should be able to choose things, it’s because you support murder. And when you claim one of them as racist or bigoted, it’s because you’re using a double-standard to generalize everyone in the group. Anything that you think might be right and wrong is automatically null, because, after all, they’ve already decided that for you.

They say everyone should have a family, and then they say it shouldn’t be legal to have a nontraditional relationship, and, furthermore, that some people “shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce.” They say “you can’t fix stupid,” when they apparently don’t realize how stupid that sentence is; for people that believe the entire world should speak Freedom (what I like to call English), they’re definitely unequipped to fulfill that mission. They want the Ten Commandments to remain as decorum for justice courts, yet they violate more than one of those very commandments through justified delusion. They cry that their rights are being taken if they have to pay taxes or take measures to save lives, yet they also want better schools, more weapons and a more efficient government, while consistently electing dishonest businessmen (pardon the redundancy) to run that same government. They cry that there are “black only” organizations--complaining that if there was a “white only” equivalent, the organization would be written off as racist--and then they ignore the issue that mostly white organizations purposely drive out their colored counterparts, and stubbornly support people that discriminate against, and even kill, people with a black-African ancestry.

Then they tell you that you should honor military veterans who have served in any capacity, because those men and women have fought and died for your freedom. Yet, if you exercise that freedom in the manner of your choosing, which manner goes against their definition of the idea, you are an un-American, entitled traitor to capitalism and Freedom (English) itself.

Country music is the pinnacle of these ideals. Those artists sing these themes with righteous indignation, and without hesitation. They have no sense of, or feel they have no cause for, remorse. As they’ve cried out in the cause of “freedom,” they’ve distorted the meaning of the word in the key of homogeneous, closed-minded idiocy.