Measure Twice, Sing Once

  • Ke$ha, you might want to make a night we won't remember and promise that you'll be the one I won't forget, but I know an attractive woman with poor judgment looking to cash-in on child support and tax deductible dependents when I see one.

  • And, addressing The Zombies: if "she" is still beckoning me to come closer, as well as telling me she loves me, I'm not going to tell her no. It's been, like, forty years. Enough, already!

  • Adele, your heartfelt resolve to find someone like the guy with whom it didn't work out will lead to the next relationship also not working out. You can see that, right?

  • Macklemore, the ceiling isn't holding anyone. If you put your hands up, even if you reached the ceiling, the only scenario would be you holding the ceiling. The only way it would hold you is if you were on top of it, but here's the thing, that part is called a roof and no amount of lifting your hands is going to change that.

  • Finally, Hoobastank, you could have left it at admitting you're "not a perfect persuuuhn." You didn't have to copy the clipart equivalent of a chorus just to waste three and a half minutes of everyone's life in high school, everyday.

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