Stare Into a Leaf to See the Line of Your Fate

Don’t you understand? You and I are being manipulated, every day. We’re being controlled, and what’s controlling us is a force that has even become something we all literally can’t live without. It’s been this same case for our parents, their parents, their parents, so on and so forth, encompassing the entire line of our collective ancestry. This force has masterfully conditioned us, at the most basic level of our instincts as a species, to be totally dependent on what it produces.

Evil.

This...evil force is, of course, the Earth’s plant-life. The Flora of that infamous death-metal duo, Flora and Fauna (I know, you’re thinking they can’t be a "death"-metal duo, but if you understand how Flora has enslaved us and how Fauna consumes the flesh of Fauna, it becomes clear. Their debut album is titled "The Food Chain".) There are horror movies about plants taking over the world, but, guess what? They’ve already taken over the world. They took over soon after the Earth’s inception!

There are two types of plants that have washed our brains into keeping them alive: the kind we eat and the kind we don’t. The plants that we eat are bad enough, but the most heinous are their inedible kin, who have created an imaginary need for them in us humans. Flowers are useless! They look and smell pretty, nothing more! Fruitless trees are even more useless, which is why they decided to grow crazy tall, so they could be home to Fauna, as well as create shade. They also trained to reach level Expert and unlocked the ability to produce breathable air.

Then, there is the other group: edible Flora. What a sickness that has taken them! We eat what they produce, which is fruit--equivalent to the offspring of Fauna. We literally eat their children. And we can’t resist, because their children taste so great! (Before you go calling me out, vegetables would be considered fruit, since they are the fruition of their parent plants.) Not only can we not resist eating these things because of their appealing flavor, we also literally can’t survive without eating them on a daily basis. Name one cult, government, or even one disease in recorded history that has reached this level of mind control. Name one, I dare you. How is this not creating mass panic!

Here’s the most unnerving aspect of these creatures’ manipulative ways: they have submitted Fauna to this same dependency. Their closest friends, and the other half of the death-metal duo have become subjects under Flora’s totalitarian reign. What’s more, plants have even subjugated insects--insects!--which have been doing the dirty work of plants on a level far greater than the rest of us. They, who outnumber humanity 1000:1, are also under the suffocating control of plants. Granted, insects are way dumber than we are, am I right? No. Apparently I’m not right.

It’s too late to be afraid. You’re already too deep into the system, and there’s no escape. Even if you try to escape, you’ll immediately see that you’re already completely surrounded. You’ve likely even planted their patient sentries around your own home. You’re so naive…

They keep us alive and healthy, sure. But, once you’re dead, they’ll consume your carbon, and leave the rest of you to become future oil and a negligible amount of sediment in future fossils. So, enjoy your healthy lifestyle; plants don’t need you to fatten up, they just need to you live as long as possible, and become, or remain, healthy. They’ll go out of their way to help you be healthy. That’s how you feed their twisted cycle of existence.

No wonder they outlive and outnumber us! We are supplementing them. They are cultivating us! Good luck gardening without the seeds of paranoia, now; try not to obsess over how you’re sowing Flora’s guile, and eventually harvesting your impending death.