In Response to a Complaint
I, Alex Lester English, in response to sexual harassment complaints from my associate, Mrs. Heather Barbeer, would like to respond to her specific complaints formally in this letter to clear things up:
At the beginning of my shift, I was standing at the front desk of our office building (which will go unnamed) when my associate walked in. I noticed she was wearing a finely made pleated skirt (which the designer label will go unnamed, though I assumed it was Cambridge Classics™) and a button up blouse. I said plainly to her, “Do you shave yourself?” out of curiosity alone as I also noticed her legs appeared to be quite smooth in the morning light as I had never paid attention to previously.
An hour later, we were getting items from the company vending machines at the same time, purely by snack-happy coincidence. She purchased a soda (which brand name will go unnamed), and I a small bag of cracked peppercorn flavored corn chips. I lightly laughed to myself and she asked why; no one asked her to ask why, in retrospect. I said, “You know what would be a funny safe-word?” Upon hearing this she went somewhat flush and asked timidly what it would be. I said, “Coke!” and she walked at a brisk pace out of the break room, I being none-the-wiser. I now suppose it was inappropriate to say in that, being the only one in the office building with school age children, she is concerned daily about the dangers around them and I apologize.
About three hours before the shift’s end, I needed personal relief and naturally went to the appropriated room to do so. Our ‘washroom’, as we’ll call it, is a one person only, unisexual facility and has a lock on the inside. Upon entering the facility, I discovered it was already in use by Mrs. Barbeer and apparently she had not utilized the indoor lock. I was taken aback, and blushing, I said, “I’m not disappointed,” as I knew that, though she is a grown woman, even grown people forget to lock doors sometimes.
As the day’s shift was ending, I walked up to Mrs. Barbeer and with good intent offered to stay longer because she was slightly behind on her work. I offered her, “I could make it so you’re not lonely for so long.” She again went flush and told me she’d be alright.
If any of these situations caused Mrs. Barbeer to feel uncomfortable and placed me in a place of disfavor, I sincerely apologize for all. Also, I couldn’t help but notice her skirt was New York & Company™, so I apologize for assuming that she could only afford Cambridge Classics™ as well.
An hour later, we were getting items from the company vending machines at the same time, purely by snack-happy coincidence. She purchased a soda (which brand name will go unnamed), and I a small bag of cracked peppercorn flavored corn chips. I lightly laughed to myself and she asked why; no one asked her to ask why, in retrospect. I said, “You know what would be a funny safe-word?” Upon hearing this she went somewhat flush and asked timidly what it would be. I said, “Coke!” and she walked at a brisk pace out of the break room, I being none-the-wiser. I now suppose it was inappropriate to say in that, being the only one in the office building with school age children, she is concerned daily about the dangers around them and I apologize.
About three hours before the shift’s end, I needed personal relief and naturally went to the appropriated room to do so. Our ‘washroom’, as we’ll call it, is a one person only, unisexual facility and has a lock on the inside. Upon entering the facility, I discovered it was already in use by Mrs. Barbeer and apparently she had not utilized the indoor lock. I was taken aback, and blushing, I said, “I’m not disappointed,” as I knew that, though she is a grown woman, even grown people forget to lock doors sometimes.
As the day’s shift was ending, I walked up to Mrs. Barbeer and with good intent offered to stay longer because she was slightly behind on her work. I offered her, “I could make it so you’re not lonely for so long.” She again went flush and told me she’d be alright.
If any of these situations caused Mrs. Barbeer to feel uncomfortable and placed me in a place of disfavor, I sincerely apologize for all. Also, I couldn’t help but notice her skirt was New York & Company™, so I apologize for assuming that she could only afford Cambridge Classics™ as well.
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