Snowboarding

circa
Skiing and snowboarding seem like such uncomfortable activities.

You have to spend hundreds of dollars just for the equipment, then you have to spend more hundreds just to go to a resort, then you have to spend hundreds more for proper attire, which is uncomfortable and cumbersome.

It's bright on the mountain because of the sun reflecting off the snow, and you need to shield your eyes from flecks of snow shooting up from the ground, so you need to wear shaded goggles that constrict your skull, pushing your parietal bones onto your brain like a trash compactor, and all but sucking your eyes out of their sockets because of the quantum vacuum created by the padding of the goggles' frame.

You have to wear layer upon layer of fabric, because it's 20 degrees where you start, but the catch is that you start to get too hot because all you feel is your layers and the sun. You can't shed any layers, because of the still sub-freezing temperature surrounding you.

You have to take lessons to safely slide on the snow, because it's a potentially deadly activity. Literally.

You go to all those lengths, and for what? To go downhill. You know what's easier than braving the treachery of sliding down a hill? Don't go uphill.

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