Such Controversy!

circa
Amidst all of the unsettling things of the world today, I feel its necessary to take it upon myself to add to the controversy. A sort of gilding the uneasy lily.

So here are a few very controversial statements which don't necessarily reflect my actual opinion, but exist simply for the purpose of this post. Let's see if you can handle the searing conflict from what's being said:


  • It's okay to smell your fingers at any time.
  • The next actor who plays James Bond should be a naturally redheaded white man.
  • Mix equal parts Sprite, Dr. Pepper and Barq's Root Beer in one cup, and drink it all.
  • Pizza can have sauce and toppings without cheese, and vice versa.
  • Leave a window screen in the frame if it has a long tear all the way through it.
  • Scratch a bug bite until it bleeds.
  • Turning off a movie while an entire group is just getting into it isn't a bad thing.
  • Dr. Suess books are difficult to read to children.
  • Wear socks that have holes at the toes, and gloves that have holes at the tips of the fingers.
  • Use your swimsuit when you have no clean underwear.
  • Still french-kiss someone if they have halitosis.
  • You aren't part of the lives of your favorite fictional characters.
  • Tear up a half-off coupon during checkout, at the register.
  • Earwax is fun to roll up between your fingertips.
  • Don't call the girl you're dating your girlfriend, or the boy you're dating your boyfriend.
  • You leave nearly every helpless animal helpless every day.
  • Breathe-in dust mites on purpose.

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