A Pun of Math... ... ...Puns

circa
The average person is so mean.
―
Once, I saw a movie about a graph. There were gaps in the story, though--I think it was missing a few plot points.
― 
"Hello? Yes, I have a problem: I can't see it, but I should have a spot on the upcoming graph, because, when you were still selling tickets, I ordered a pair."
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A hypotenuse wanted to get a loan, but its adjecent was stuck on a tangent and wouldn't cosine.
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My "Toilet Paper +" wasn't strong enough, so I got "Toilet Paper X" because it was multiply.
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I was about to pay extra for my credit card, but I suddenly lost interest.
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It was hard to keep track of how many forks and knives to use, per plate, because nobody had set the table.
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He went two feet an hour, but it was too late to meter.
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She tried to give her friend a broken abacus as a birthday present, but her friend yelled, "That doesn't count!"
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After being told they'd run out of dessert, the caterer asked to see the receipt, and on it was just the number: 3.1415926535897932384626433. "WHAT?" she screamed, "It's because you didn't order 500 éclairs, you just ordered a piece of pi!"
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When the numbers saw they'd been reordered by the commutative property, their expression slightly changed.
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The guy at the market couldn't understand me, so I ended up with 18 watermelons because we had a word-problem.
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The 19 bravely tried to multiply by 0, but it was cut down in its prime.
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The 7 went up to the crowd and started rolling on the ground and chanting. They all agreed it was odd.
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Their friends all said they were crazy, but the length and height just knew there was another dimension.
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Length brought cookies over to Height and, with a smile, said, "Welcome to the area."
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The rival family had stolen so many sheep that the farmer only had 73 left. He knew he had to steal one of theirs to get even.
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After insisting to her friend that she started with 1724 eyelashes and lost 318, her friend said she couldn't tell the difference.
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The clock turned to 12, and midnight said to noon, "This is our time!"
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"Do you half a quarter?" she asked 12.5.
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To the horror of the village, the negative number had set bars around itself: its value was now absolute.
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It was always wrong until it turned 90०. Then it was made right.

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