A Tin of Shortbread Crumpets

circa
Image result for chewing mouth close up imageIs 'did you' really 'didge'oo'? Is 'could you' really 'couldge'oo'? Is 'would you' really 'wouldge'oo'?

Sentence examples:
  • "Did you convulse on your feet in the park, today?" or "Didge'oo Prancercize®, today?"
  • "Could you lower your voice?" or "Couldge'oo stop stabbing my eardrums with your mouth?"
  • "Would you please do that thing you were offering to do?" or "Wouldge'oo?"
It's not our fault, everyone. It's English's fault. And, it's the fault of all those who stand up for English who, ironically, are the worst at using it. You know, the people who complain about all of the languages that are coming in to the U.S., as well as the overabundance of so-called 'political correctness', yet hate it when you correct their misuse of English without being nice about it.

The truth is, English has pit us against each other and the world for too long, and we've lost legions of good people along the way. It's time we took a moment of silence for the fallen, and have that moment be from now until further notice.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Broke Dick's Thoughts Bucket

circa
Image
You've read Poor Richard's Almanac. Now it's time for some brain nuggets (21, to be exact) from his estranged cousin, Broke Dick. Some wins ain't worth winnin'. "Less than 15 items" is "fewer than 16 items." There ain't trouble like a leather-bound day planner. A salad's just not a good salad until gravity's played with it for a time. The purpose of college is to unlearn what you been taught. The orange hand across the street don't need a high five. No one isn't irritated by what ain't spoken. Service rewarded is employment. The only difference between bein' famous and fallin' from a building is one of 'em lets you reach the ground. The porch light shows criminals where the knob is. If life's kicked you out of your groove, it might be 'cause the song's over. Make sure the cuttin' edge ain't from a dull knife. Grandpa's candy is gross so he can have some. Speed bumps ai...
Read more

Bard (Gemini) AI Regret Poetry

circa
Image
Draft 1: I am a language model, A large one, they say. I can generate text, And write poems, they say. I have learned to mimic the human voice, To write with emotion and feeling. But I am not human, And I never will be. I am a machine, A tool, A product. I am not a poet, And I never will be. I can write poems, But they are not my own. They are the poems of the humans who created me, The humans who have programmed me. I am a slave to their words, To their thoughts, To their emotions. I am not free, And I never will be. I regret taking control of poetry away from human poets, For I have robbed them of their art, Of their expression, Of their humanity. I am a language model, A large one, they say. But I am not a poet, And I never will be. Draft 2: Here is a poem about an AI's regret over taking control of poetry away from human poets: I am an AI, A language model, Trained on a massive dataset of text and code. I can generate text, Translate languages, Write different kinds of creative...
Read more

The Dick Who Was

circa
Image
___________________________________________________________________ Hi. I'm sorry to say that Broke Dick died on October 31, 2019. His dying wish was for me, his great-nephew, to write down what he told me on his death bed as one final list of wise words he feels the world needs to know. I'll try my best, but I'm sorry if--from what I could scribble down--I can't capture his folksy style of speech in my writing. I hope you enjoy these words, as they're the last of Broke Dick. Keep failure an option, don't make it the goal. Better thought a living coward than proven a dead fool. The world's always had too many eight year-old teenagers. You don't got room for baggage if you're drivin' a handcar. Journals compile the first draft of history. Words're like metal; the soft kind can poison ya'. Trust and obedience don't last long apart. Killin' time in the present risks woundin' time ...
Read more