To All the Calories I've Loved Before

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To my beloved empty calories,
  Why, if you are empty, do you make me feel so full? No, not full. Complete. 
  You, my love, are not empty. I know this, because I lose my appetite after only 12,000 of you. Empty would mean I would never have to stop. Even 12,000 times 0 equals Empty, and we would need never part. This is how I know you are the one, because 12,000 times 1 equals losing my appetite.
  Take heart, empty calories. Those who call you empty are empty--empty of purpose, devoid of peace, incapable of love. And too skinny to make room for a soul.
  I know that you're bad for me, though. I met many of your exes, and the ones who know you best are... ... ...let's just say I can see the damage you have done. They can barely walk, and look like they're ready to roll back down the beach and into the ocean. If we are to keep seeing each other, I'll need you to promise you won't control me like that. That you'll let me be me.

To the full(?) calories,
  I never actually caught your real name. Everyone told me you're better than empty calories, but I think you'll agree when I say there was no spark during the blind date. If you could get in touch with the people who set us up and tell them, once and for all, that it's not going to work out, maybe they'll stop asking me when we're going out again.
  I realize we're supposed to be good for each other, but we both know it's never going to happen. Especially since you're the one who brought up that we have too many different goals, in that you have too many and I'm still waiting to make an educated decision before I set one. 
  Because, on my end, it's over already. I mean, it's bad enough that we have to pretend we don't notice each other after we make eye contact at the store, which seems to happen every single time I go.
  Let's just forget we ever went out, alright? I'll just tell my family I don't know where you went--that you ghosted me, or something--and we'll avoid each other at parties, you on your platter, and me with my third handful of cookies.

And to you, the no-calories,
  To me you are yes calories.

I love or am indifferent to you all. 

Best wishes,
💘 Me 💘

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