Just, NOT to Juice, Hamlet

circa
It's pretty clear, to anyone who reads this word vomit that is my blog, that I'm not a huge fan of food. As a concept, I mean.

However, it's surprising to me that there's any whiff of juicing, anymore. By 'juicing' I mean 'drinking juice,' and by 'drinking' I mean 'swallowing liquid', and my 'liquid' I mean 'not alcohol, not everything about drinking is alcohol, stop being so obsessed about alcohol'. I mean, juicing does nothing, because it is nothing.

Juice is just a glorified version of fruit drinks that children have all the time. It's nothing but colored sugar-water, or worse, gross colored sugar water. If you don't believe me, consider the following: when you put fruit or vegetables into a juicer, what comes out and what is left over? Fluid comes out, and solids are left over, right? Now, pinch your arm. Feel that? Hopefully you pinched yourself hard enough to wake up to the fact that YOUR ARM ISN'T MADE OF FLUID. You can't successfully pinch juice, but you can pinch the pulp. That should speak to your mind the reality of the situation.

The reality is that all of the stuff that's left behind when you extract juice from food is the stuff your body actually needs to make more bits of body to keep you alive. You know that stuff that you can hold in your hand after you've squeezed something dry? That's because it's solid material. You are made of solid material. So, why settle for trace amounts of necessary nutrients when you can swallow entire doses of it, in droves? Your body is telling you to keep drinking that sugar because it's feeling helpless since you are oblivious to its needs and it feels like it should get some energy storage, since you're going to be starving yourself by trying to drink your food.

So, don't juice. Eat. Shake. Smoothie. Heck, even pulp. But don't juice. Your solid parts are keeping your fluid parts from spraying out everywhere, so do us all a favor and keep that balloon skin healthy and reinforced.

Or you just might end up as juice.

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