I was thinking...

THE BOOK OF DAX CHAPTER 1 Dax moves--Moving makes Dax lie down--Dax falls asleep--Dax sleeps--Dax wakes and lifts his head--The Little One scurries about and must be subdued--To subdue the Little One, Dax must trap it with his claws and mouth--Dax loses focus and begins attacking all things at random--Dax loses focus and runs quickly from room to room--Dax gives to the Box of Offerings--The Feeders walk and Dax attacks them from behind--Dax gets hungry and petitions The Feeders to give him food with his food--Dax eats then moves--Moving makes Dax lie down--Dax falls asleep--Dax sleeps 1 Behold, I did move. 2 And in moving I did wax tired; 3 And I did lie down on the floor, and I did sleep for a time. 4 And on the third hour, I did raise my head. 5 Behold, I did see the Little One; and it did scurry about the floor on where I lay. 6 And I did seek to destroy the Little One, for its scurry was great and terrible. 7 And behold, I did chase the Little One, seeking its lif...

To achieve the desired Ohm of the Nihilist and disappear as a forgotten, dark speck in the infinite black of space, recite one or more of the following Mantra to yourself daily, ideally in the mirror of a lowlit public restroom: Life is simply what seeks Chemicals to be Alive then stay Alive, yet will cause Life's unavoidable Death. Humanity is a glorified Poop-Factory--taking what is Useful and Beautiful from the Earth, then giving it back as a fat Pile of ugly, poisonous Waste. What I Know will never be my Own, because Knowledge is what I am told It is. What I Create will never be my Own, because I can only Create from Materials which already Exist. Self-Esteem is a gratuitous Construct. Neither I nor the Other are Individual, as all Things come from and rely on other Things. There is no One who is a true Original. My Hipster Cred is a Lie. My Genes will be Lost as they are watered-down with each Generation, and They will no longer Exist, eventually. My Children might ha...

Gone are the days when a child would lazily sit on the grass or idly swing on the swing-set, alone with their thoughts and volatile imaginings. I know this, first hand, because I recently came across a child who was wearing a noticeable amount of cologne. I mean, I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I would venture to guess that, in my own personal deduction, he was trying to attract a member of the opposite sex, and I shudder to think why. How do I know this? Because, this child is single, I would think, and when I was single, I would try to lure a potential mate with my vapors of flora and musk, as well. I can accurately state that now, as a married man, I don't try to attract women with cologne, anymore, but rather use it as a cover-up when I've ripened and need to be washed, like spraying your homemade essential-oil spritzer in the bathroom after a torrent of the Human Condition. I really hope this kid isn't in the same circumstance. This got me to thinking that, if this ...

Many Americans encounter ghosts in their homes, but so do many people around the world. With this issue being as common worldwide as it is in the United States, here is some sage advice to help you deal with your ghost. Keep Your Ghost Humble    It's widely understood that the average ghost is totally full of his/herself. That's primarily the reason they feel the right to not only trespass into your home, but harass you and your family without explanation. So, here are the things of which you need to remind your ghost:     Tell your ghost that you're not alone. While you may be the only one seeing him or her, you're far from being the only one in the room. There is a countless number of microorganisms in you, on you, and around you at any given time. Not only that, there are macro -organisms around you, as well, and some of them might even be on you or, if you're not careful, in you. It's no secret that people with tapeworms are never haunted, ...

The average person is so mean. ― Once, I saw a movie about a graph. There were gaps in the story, though--I think it was missing a few plot points. ―  "Hello? Yes, I have a problem: I can't see it, but I should have a spot on the upcoming graph, because, when you were still selling tickets, I ordered a pair." ― A hypotenuse wanted to get a loan, but its adjecent was stuck on a tangent and wouldn't cosine. ― My "Toilet Paper +" wasn't strong enough, so I got "Toilet Paper X" because it was multiply. ― I was about to pay extra for my credit card, but I suddenly lost interest. ― It was hard to keep track of how many forks and knives to use, per plate, because nobody had set the table. ― He went two feet an hour, but it was too late to meter. ― She tried to give her friend a broken abacus as a birthday present, but her friend yelled, "That doesn't count!" ― After being told they...